I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
