the condom got lost in my hair
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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