i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
