I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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