This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
