it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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