Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
dude. I can hear the air.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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