he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize