i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
