I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
