We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Damn victory sex feels great
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
