Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
