I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
