I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
