Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
