When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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