Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
