Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Did I show you my penis last night?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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