Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
