one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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