is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
