I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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