For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
