I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
