and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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