I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
