weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
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