do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
