Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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