You're so nebulous sometimes
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We just shotgunned beers for America
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
