found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Holy shit dude........stairs
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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