i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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