I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
