You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
