He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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