Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
