Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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