i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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