I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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