i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
