Are we in a gay sports bar?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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