Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
apparently the secret to your success is patron
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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