This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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