I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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