yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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