I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
