It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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