We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
