dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
