So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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