i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
