problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i wish my penis had a tongue
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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